Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I kissed a girl and I .... PUKED!!!

Shame Shame Shame!!! Young Katy used to be such a wonderful Christian singer, who was raised by wonderful Christian parents (her dad is a devoted loving pastor). But then the Devil got to her, Hollywood got to her. Now she is corrupted, kissing girls, singing about it. I bet you it all has to do with that boyfriend of hers. That rapper. Rappers are bad news my friend, singing their devils music. He has corrupted her beyond belief. Kissing a girl? She's A GIRL!!! That is just wrong. She also talks about being at a bar in the song, which just goes to show that drinking and going to clubs just makes you do blasphemous things. We should avoid all this on all levels. Having fun and experimenting is a BIG no no is Gods plan for us. We must not cave into our urges. Our desires are disgusting, disgusting things that do not follow the word of our Lord and Savior. We must take all copies of this song and destroy them in a huge bonfire as we dance around singing 'Halalula Lord!" We should also write hate mail to MTV and Much Music urging them NOT to play the video, as it has homosexual sex going on that just... just... MAKES ME PUKE!!!!! Then we need to do an intervention and exorcism on Katy to bring her back to the Light.. to the Lord. She will be loved once again. She will finally make good music once more!!!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Bible Rules to follow

So Leviticus is where the whole rule of being homosexual is an abomination. Here are some other rules that Jesus wants you to follow:


7: They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God. (Don't take a slut as your wife)

13: And he shall take a wife in her virginity. 14: A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife. (Your wife NEEDS to be a virgin.. so the next time a guy wants sex with me before marriage, I will know he doesn't want anything long term with me)

6: And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you. (don't eat rabbit?)

10: And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: 11: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. (Don't eat shell fish... you'll go straight to hell along with the gays)

44: Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids. 45: Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession. (You can have slaves, as long as they are purchased by a neighbouring nation.. meaning we can own Americans.. Sweet!)

19: Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee. (Do not wear cotton/polyester blend, or a blend of any two garments.. fashion faux pas!)

27: Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. (You better have side burns!)


"If a man sells his daughter as a female slave, she is not to go free as the male slaves do." (So I can sell my kids?)

"For six days work may be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a holy day, a sabbath of complete rest to the LORD; whoever does any work on it shall be put to death." (Kill whoever works or forces people to work on Sundays)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Yes on Prop 8

So those crazy liberal Californians are voting soon on all this same sex mumble jumbo. I hope they finally see the light and realize that this the wrong way to be. This is dangerous territory, not only because of the things I listed in my previous post, but also because we will be teaching our children to be gay. We can't have our children learning from books in school, like how a prince falls in love with a prince. The prince always falls in love with the princess, that's just the way it is. And on that topic of what kids learn in school, we should not be teaching them that some dinosaurs were strictly vegetarians, or that John Wilkes Booth assassinated Abe Lincoln. I mean what will they become? Gay Vegetarian Assassins? That's just scary!!!


Tuesday, October 14, 2008


So learning about what the definition of marriage, that being a union between a man and a woman for procreation purposes, I find that I completely agree with this. I mean what is the point of marriage if not to just have a crap load of babies? There is no other reason to get married. Love is unimportant, getting along is unimportant (I mean if you're a teenage girl who gets knocked up, you better be ready for that shot gun wedding, and spending the rest of your life with your first boyfriend).

I want to take this a step further though. See, looking at the definition, and other Christians saying that same-sex couples can't marry because they cannot naturally procreate with each other, well it shouldn't just apply to them. For every barren women, low sperm count man, hermaphrodite who's body is so messed up because of it that they can't produce, well none of you should have children. If you can't have children, you SHOULD NOT be having marriage. It's a complete abomination. You can't have sex just to have sex... Got that? Oh, and this goes for anyone who chooses to not have kids when they clearly can. The gays choose to like the same sex, which is wrong, you choose to not have children, which is also wrong!

Letting Jesus into my heart

Hello my fellow parish.. welcome to my first posting on my blog.. this is Jesus time!!!!

This Thanksgiving weekend, I have learned a very important lesson.. to let Jesus (is it pronounced "Hey Zeus?") into my heart and home! (Like a begging homeless man?) It was time, I just felt it was right. I mean the convincing arguments that were provided to me about science proving that there is a God (Creation Science.. is that really science?) And how the name of Jesus has provided super powers to ordinary men to defeat the supernatural evil beings that possess the bodies of today's heretics (or Humanists as they like to call them now).

There is also the case where Sarah Palin is clearly the smartest person running in this election (Joe Six-Pack). Heaven forbid (does that count as swearing, I'm new to this and I don't want any swearing out of my mouth that might give the demons power), that damn Muslim (Obama is Muslim?) gets into office. That would just be the end of this fine Christian society (wait, I thought we were multicultural?)

I am Canadian though, so I suppose I should be voting Conservative, or maybe Christian Heritage Party. I'm not sure, it's all so confusing for me. I mean I am just a new born now, am I even legal to vote, because technically I am only one day old in my new Christian like form.